Rage: A Question

May 18, 2011

I have a question for you, internet! Ok, a fairly extensive and tedious backstory, and then a question. I’ll crack on.

Long version:
My manager at work occasionally likes to give us all little product knowledge questionnaires, just to check that we still all know what the fuck we’re doing. Selling items to the general public requires a degree in Pretending to Laugh at Stupid Jokes, and Not Punching Awkward Customers in the Face, but also Knowing What the Fuck You’re Talking About.
She’ll type out the questions, and leave them in our individual folders on the laptop we have. We’ll then dick our way through them, and save them back into her folder. Simple.
I had been in work for a 9-7 shift, which is a long time when customers are making you regret signing the oath, swearing you wouldn’t Kick Them in the Nads, but it is ample time to fill in a product knowledge questionnaire. I took most of the day to do it, filling in a bit, then going away to shout at some children, then coming back to it. At the end of my shift, I was pretty happy with it. I’d put in a lot of work, and had only kicked one elderly vicar in the spleen.
Another girl at work had done the same quiz, but had saved it to the public area of the laptop. Being the nosy little bastard I am, I had a read. I wanted to see if she’d done better than me. Upon reaching the end, I saw a note from my manager, saying that her efforts weren’t good enough and that she should read my questionnaire as an example. Awkward.
I then sought out her second attempt, to see if she had taken any of my wisdom on board.
Turns out, she took quite a bit. As much as you can take with the COPY AND PASTE tool. I was reading her second set of answers when I shouldn’t’ve been. Internet, do I have a right to be annoyed?

Short version:
Girl stole my work! I be pissed?

My dissertation seems to be my only topic of conversation at the minute. I think probably because I think about it every waking moment, and I’d really rather not.
I would much rather be drinking, or knitting, or shoving a handful of bees into my mouth, or figuring out what is going to happen in this series of Doctor Who and why it will be so awesome, or learning how to poke a pen into my eye without going blind, or inhaling too many Creme Eggs, or drinking glitter until I explode into a firework, or setting fire to my own torso, or kicking a child in the shoes, or throwing a phone at a pensioner, or riding a pig off a cliff, or licking a cat even though I am allergic, or walking from London to Brazil, or shivving a criminal, or writing a blog post.
My point is, I’d rather be doing a lot of other things.

Food Porn

May 5, 2011

Hey guys, just thought I’d jump on here briefly and express my excitement.
This is the Channel 4 recipes page at the minute:


The first blog featured, Katiecakes, is a blog run by Bearded Boyfriend’s sister Katie. This is awesome for a number of reasons.

Katie’s cake skillz definitely deserve to be recognised by something as huge as Channel 4. As someone who sometimes gets to eat leftover cake, and has had a special birthday cake made for me for the past few years, I can attest to the fact that her cakes are awesome. It’s epic too that hers is actually the first one mentioned, at the very top of the page. Even for people as easily distracted as myself, you can’t fail to notice the delightful looking cupcakes she made a short while back.
Another reason that I’m so pleased about this is that they’ve specifically said, “This is one good looking blog.” Hey, Bearded Boyfriend designed that in his spare time. Also, the “stunning photography” is provided by Katie’s fiance, so it’s a real family effort.
I’m pretty proud of Bearded Boyfriend. The fact that Channel 4 have given him props on his design work is motivation enough that I hope he does more of this type of thing in the future. Win! Hope you’re all having an epic day. If it’s filled with cake, that’s even better.